Cataclysmic Tranquility
by Shiroi Hoshi
Summary: "I miss you. You're still here, but it's different, you're different. I want the annoying, selfish, loud brat back. I want to get irritated and I want to yell at you. I want things to go back to the way they used to be. I want you to remember me." What if they'd never met? They wouldn't have fallen in love. And no one would have to get hurt. But destiny has its reasons. SasoDei AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! As you know, I can only get on the computer on weekends because of exams, so I wrote this whole thing on my phone and emailed it to myself :D Pretty cool huh! :D Anyway... I've never written any continuous multi-chapter fics before, except Entwined Paroxysm, the rest are all actually drabbles and oneshots under the same title. Anyway, It's SasoDei guys! Plus other pairings too *coughkakuzuXhidancoughpeinXk onancoughitachiXkisamecoughm aybezetsuXtobi* anyway, i really don't want to screw this fic up because it's my favourite pairing. Here!**

* * *

Sasori took a deep breath and exhaled with a slow sigh. "Brat."

Long golden hair splayed on the pillows and face hidden under the blanket, the blonde let out a groan. "Shut _up_, un!"

"I will not 'shut up'," Sasori walked over to Deidara and tugged at the blanket. The blonde tumbled off his bed with a thud muffled by the sheets, but the redhead honestly couldn't give two shits about it. "Class starts in an hour. We need twenty minutes to get to campus."

"Danna," Deidara groaned. "It starts in an _hour_, un!"

"Minus the twenty, you have forty minutes left to get ready, so go get ready NOW." Sasori leaned against the wall, watching the grumbling blonde struggling on the floor, trying to untangle himself from the twisted sheets. "Hurry up," he said before walking out of Deidara's room. "Or I'll leave without you."

"Go ahead, un!"

Sasori smirked to himself as the other's voice drifted from the room. There was a slam of what Sasori assumed was the bathroom door. He dropped into the couch and picked up the morning paper, lazily flipping through the boring headlines, all the while glancing at the wall clock or around the tiny apartment.

It wasn't exactly a tiny apartment. It had a small kitchen, an adequately sized living area, two bedrooms, one bathroom, and a painfully small storage place. But it was enough for the two university students. Since Deidara never did housework, Sasori came to appreciate the fact that he wouldn't have to clean a huge house by himself.

It was almost eight forty and Deidara was still in the bathroom. Sasori could hear the shower running and he mentally nagged at the blonde for wasting water and upping their water bills. "Brat," he called. "I'm going to leave without you."

"_Danna, un_! Don't you _dare_!"

Sasori walked to the front of the bathroom and flicked off the heat, waiting patiently for a response.

"God damn it, Danna!"

In less than a minute, Deidara was out, fully dressed and shivering. He glared at the redhead, who stood against the wall, leisurely eating a croissant.

"What the hell did you do that for, un!" the blonde stomped up to Sasori and grabbed his half-eaten croissant, munching on it with much fervor. "I froze my ass off in there!"

"Good," Sasori snatched his food back and finished it in one bite, sweeping his books off the table. "Ready to go?"

Deidara followed him, cursing under his breath.

Without Sasori, there wouldn't have been a day where Deidara was on time, if he actually even showed up at school. The redhead was the epitome of punctuality and Deidara, his juxtaposition.

The two had met in high school, during their freshman year. Apparently, opposites DO attract. Rowdy, obnoxious Deidara and quiet, contemplating Sasori had become best friends. They had both been in the advance class because they were straight A students, despite Deidara's appearance and personality, he was the second best student in class— just one rank beneath Sasori.

Nobody could surpass the prodigy. Sasori knew every answer to everything; he would keep answering a question until the teacher told him to stop, he knew enough. But to the others, he didn't speak much.

Now Sasori had decided to study psychology while Deidara had jumped at a chance to do physiology.

Their circle of friends was basically everyone in Sasori's social network, but he wasn't the least bit worried about it.

The less people there were in his life, the less drama there would be— drama and problems came together as a package, and the last thing Sasori wanted in his life were problems.

"_SENPAIIIIIIII_!"

Sasori looked up from the ground to see a blur of dark hair tackle Deidara to the ground, both of then falling with an "oompf". Amused, he watched the exasperated blonde attempt to push the attacker off him.

"Get lost, Tobi, un!" Deidara had his palm gripping the other's face, at the same time pushing him back, but Tobi's arms seemed to be permanently locked around Deidara's waist. "GET OFF OF ME, TOBI!"

"NOOOOOOOOO," Tobi cried, "Tobi hasn't seen Senpai in a long time! Tobi misses Senpai so much!"

Sasori finally felt enough pity for the blonde and stepped forward, taking Tobi's arm and pulling him up. "Get up, Tobi. You're causing a ruckus."

Whimpering, Tobi detached himself from Deidara and stood up. "Bye Senpai! Tobi is going to class now! Will Tobi see Senpai after class?"

Deidara peeled himself off the floor and dusted his shirt and jeans. "Oh _hell _no, un," he growled, glaring at the younger boy.

Sasori shook his head. "Hurry up, brat."

"It's not MY fault. Danna, did you see the way he tried to _strangle _me?"

"No."

"I almost _died_, un!"

"As if you could die so easily, brat."

Annoyed, Deidara stomped off, leaving Sasori by himself in the hallway, blinking after him.

"...well. I forgot about the brat's morning temper."

"Someone got out the wrong side of the bed this morning?"

Sasori turned around. "Ah. Pein." The thought back to what happened earlier in the day, and remembered the way Deidara had woken up by. "Maybe."

Pein raised an eyebrow, his lavender eyes twinkling in amusement. "Could you, by any chance, have had something to do with it?"

"That depends," Sasori ran a hand through his hair. Fiery red, permanently in a bed-head style, with his fringe—short enough so that he could actually see, but long enough so that he didn't look like a nerd— falling just above his brown, sleepy-looking eyes. "I merely did him a favor by waking him up."

"I don't think Deidara sees that as a favor."

"That's the brat's problem."

"Sasori! Pein!"

Both males turned around as a blue haired girl barreled into Pein. The orange-haired man put his arms around her instinctively, blinking away the shock.

"Konan," Pein rasped, his air supply slowly being cut as his girlfriend hugged him too enthusiastically.

"Oh, sorry." Konan let him go and turned to Sasori.

The redhead widened his eyes and put his arms up. "Uh no thanks," he immediately said. "Good morning to you too."

"Huh. You guys are so awkward," Konan muttered, looking around. "Where's Deidara? At least he returns my hugs."

"I think it's because he's too polite to push you away." Pein dodged a punch to his stomach.

Konan glared at him. "Where is he anyway?"

"The brat was in a bad mood and left for class already."

"What?" Konan shook her head. "It must be your fault, Sasori."

"Hey? Why do you people always blame me when the brat gets pissed?"

"Because there's no one more annoying than you."

All three turned to the new voice.

Kakuzu grinned and walked towards them with Kisame. The tall, gigantically built man gave a brief wave. "Yo! You guys seen Itachi?"

Sasori raised an eyebrow. "You think I'm annoying?"

"I do," everyone at the scene replied, without missing a beat.

"...Suit yourselves," Sasori muttered and walked away, books in hand.

"Now you've pissed the kid off." Hidan had magically appeared behind Kakuzu. "Oi fuckers! Good morning!"

"I'd appreciate if I don't have to be greeted by vulgarities every morning," Pein sighed.

"You got a problem with me, you fucking prick?"

"Oh, no," Pein raised a hand and waved him off, turning towards his classroom and walking away. "No, not at all."

"Wait for me, Pein!" Konan rushed off to join him in business studies.

Kisame just shook his head. The same thing happened every morning. The only thing left was... He turned around, and sure enough, Kakuzu and Hidan were arguing— about anything at all.

"...Did you just call me a retard, you ungrateful bitch!"

"How is that ungrateful? How is the ungrateful one _me_? Who the hell paid your rent last month when you didn't have a single yen on you? Who the hell let you crash at his house when you didn't pay your rent two months ago?"

"...Like I give a fuck! I treated you to lunch!"

"Which costs like a few ten thousand yen less than all that rent I paid for you—"

"Just shut that fucking mouth of yours, Kakuzu!"

"And you need to invest on mouthwash for _your _disgustingly vile one."

"Chill it, guys," Kisame patted both of them on their shoulders and looked around one more time, this time spotting the Uchiha make his way towards them. "Ah, Itachi!"

"You left the apartment without me?" The Uchiha looked hard at Kisame, and the big guy nearly shriveled up with the intensity of the gaze.

"Sorry, man. I called you but you didn't answer, so I thought you'd left already."

"Without putting on my _shoes_, which were in front of the _door _you went out of?"

"I didn't see your shoes, sorry."

"...If you insist."

"I'm going off to business now." Kakuzu nodded at Itachi and left. "Hidan, you should probably get your ass off to history."

"Will you just _shut up_?"

As the two left, bickering, Kisame gulped and tried to smile at Itachi. "Uh, so... What time's class?"

"Nine," Itachi said monotonously. "You?"

"Same."

The two stared at each other in silence until Itachi finally spoke, watching Kisame with a leveled, cool gaze. "I don't understand what you like about marine biology, but I still don't encourage you to be late."

"Huh? Oh, oh," Kisame jumped and took the chance to escape.

Itachi smirked. "It's quite entertaining when he gets flustered."

Laughing silently to himself, Itachi slipped into class and scanned the room until he saw the redhead.

Sasori sat right at the back, wearing his permanent scowl. It toned down a little when he spotted Itachi, but the frown didn't leave his eyes.

"What's the matter?" The Uchiha sat next to him.

"Kakashi should make a point to be early for once."

"He's the best this school's got for our course. His tardiness is a small sacrifice we need to make."

"Of course we have to put up with his bad habits," Sasori growled as Kakashi strolled into the room with his wild silver hair, holding a little green book.

"Sorry class! I was helping an old lady—"

"—cross the road," someone from the front drawled. "A pity you didn't take longer."

"That's correct. Now, yesterday's assignments out please."

* * *

Sasori heaved a sigh of relief when he walked out of the campus. His head felt like it was about to burst. Well, lessons with Kakashi did that to people.

Itachi walked beside him wordlessly. Kisame had told him to go back first— he had to stay behind for extra classes. The Uchiha hadn't believed a single word. After studying human behavior for the past two plus years, shifty eyes and fidgeting were telltale signs of lying. Even someone who didn't do psychology could tell.

Itachi had no qualms about it, however. He would wait until his roommate got back. Recently Kisame had started to get flustered around him all the time, but Itachi didn't know why.

"Hey, fuckers!"

Sasori gave an internal groan. Loud, vulgar Hidan. Just what he needed at the moment. The Uchiha calmly turned around when the man with the silver, slicked-back hair jogged up to them. "Hidan."

Other students were giving them curious looks, as they always did. They were a strange bunch, in a way. Polite, intellectual Pein and bubbly Konan. Next came intimidating Itachi and his childish cousin, Tobi. Biology-obsessed Kisame and Zetsu. Money-minded Kakuzu and Hidan's lack of civilized vocabulary...

And then there were the artists Sasori and Deidara— the two freaking prodigies of the school. Their polar personalities weren't the only incomprehensible factor of their friendship. It was the fact that they argued like they couldn't stand each other yet lived in the same apartment. And also, their choice of acquaintances.

"Going home?" Hidan clapped Itachi on the back and the dark-haired man nearly choked.

"Of course not," Kakuzu muttered, coming up behind them. "Itachi's going to a damn party."

Itachi raised an eyebrow, but chose to say nothing.

"Fuck off, asshole."

Kakuzu rolled his eyes. "You'd die without me."

"Say WHAT?" Hidan yelled with a disgustedly horrified expression.

"Next time check your wallet before you tell me to go away."

"You ass!"

Sasori sighed and turned away just in time to see Tobi running towards them. Eyes widening just slightly, he turned to the arguing two and said something about having homework and that he needed to leave. Itachi saw Tobi as well and excused himself to leave with Sasori.

"SASORI-SAAAAAN! WAIT FOR TOBI! HE WANTS TO VISIT SENPAIIIIII!"

Sasori and Itachi promptly started sprinting.

The redhead parted ways with Itachi at the traffic lights. With a brief wave, Sasori started towards his apartment.

Sasori opened the door to the apartment and peered in. As expected, Deidara was lounging on the couch, messing around with a bit of clay, with a box of pizza on the coffee table in front of him. "Don't drop your rubbish all over the cushions, brat."

Deidara glanced up and raised an indignant eyebrow. "It's not rubbish, un!"

"If you won't face it, then I can't help you."

"_Danna_, un!"

Sasori smirked at him and disappeared into the kitchen. "And you need to stop inhaling that junk, pizza isn't real food."

"If you're telling me pepperoni and capsicum aren't real food, then you shouldn't be studying in a university right now, un."

Deidara sounded distracted, and Sasori took leftover onigiri out from the fridge, knowing that unless he personally passed him proper food, Deidara would live on takeout and pizza.

The blonde reached out for another slice of pizza but the box was swept away from him. "...ah!" he yelped, surprised, before looking up. "What, un?"

"This," Sasori picked up an onigiri and waved it in front of Deidara, "is real food, brat. Rice," he brought the riceball nearer to the other's face. "Furikake," he moved it closer, "and there's tuna inside—"

Deidara grabbed it. "All right, all right. I get it, I get it. I just have to eat it, right, un!" he finished it in three bites.

Sasori watched him expectantly, waiting for him to say his usual line.

"...can I have another one, un?"

And Sasori said, "no."

Closing his room door, he laughed to himself as "_you fucking bastard_" drifted from the couch.

Sasori pulled his textbook towards him and opened it to a random page. He had practically memorized the whole book, but what else could he do other than study?

Truth be told, Sasori didn't even have to put in effort for his A's. He had the same flawless memory as Deidara, and he took it for granted. Who wouldn't? Anybody would.

Glaring at the textbook as if he wanted to burn a hole through the pages, Sasori began to robotically scratch notes in a book with his pencil.

He could hear his roommate outside shuffling around the apartment the way he always did when he was moulding a new clay figurine. Deidara just couldn't sit _still_, so Sasori concluded that the blonde's attention span was smaller than the size of an ant.

"Danna, un!"

The sudden yell made Sasori forget his carefully planned answer and he glanced up from his homework, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose irritably. "Brat, it better be important."

"It's important, un!" the voice was getting louder, and judging by the shadow beneath the door, Deidara had come up right outside his room.

"What?"

"We've run out of juice, un!"

It took all of the redhead's willpower not to yank the door open and whack the blonde on the head.

"Then go _and buy some more_."

"But—"

"Brat, if you don't shut up, I'm going to swap you for Zetsu and you're going to have to put up with Tobi."

Sasori knew it was low of him to use that threat, but it was so far the most effective one of all.

"...Tch. Sasori no bastard, un."

* * *

Kisame stood outside his apartment, staring at the door with all the uncertainty he could muster. Should he go in... Or should he crash at someone else's place?

He gave a soft groan and gripped his head in his hands. What the hell was wrong with him? Ever since he realized that he'd developed a crush on the stoic Uchiha, he couldn't act cool and calm around him anymore. More than once it had proven to be a nuisance. "Maybe I should get hypnotized, so that I'll forget I ever liked this guy. I can't even enter my own apartment!"

Meanwhile, Itachi had heard his roommate pacing outside the door, and was watching him through the peephole near the top of the door. Amused, he saw that Kisame was nearly tearing his hair off his scalp and was actually conversing with himself, shaking his head or making faces.

He noticed the other man had been acting weirdly recently, but he didn't expect Kisame to deteriorate so much. "Is he becoming mentally unsound...?" Itachi mused to himself.

Finally, after fifteen minutes of quietly spying, Itachi couldn't stand it anymore. He turned the handle and yanked the door open, meeting Kisame's horrified expression with an inquisitive one.

"I...Itachi!" Kisame's small eyes went as wide as they could possibly manage. "H...hey, what's up?"

"You," Itachi said calmly, "are what's up. Are you...sane? Or have you snapped? Because I have been watching you talking animatedly to yourself outside the door for the past fifteen minutes or so."

"You were _watching_?" Kisame yelped. "Oh my _God_. Did you, by any chance," his voice dropped and his face simmered down to a grimace, "_hear _what I was talking about?"

"Unfortunately, my hearing is not that sharp. You should go to a psychiatrist soon, maybe? If you want my opinion, I would say it resembled the symptoms of schizophrenia—"

"The hell! You think I'm crazy, don't you?" Kisame was suddenly angry, and the Uchiha blinked, slightly startled by the outburst. "You think I'm crazy, and you want me to go to a DOCTOR!"

"I never—"

"Well, I'm not schizophrenianic or schizophrenia-whatever-shit—"

"Schizophrenic," Itachi offered.

"—Schizophrenic," Kisame growled. "I'm perfectly FINE, and I am NOT going to see a psychiatrist."

There was a long, awkward silence.

"Uhm..." Kisame cleared his throat. "Sorry about that I just kind of snapped, I think, and—"

"Are you sure you're all right?" The Uchiha was watching him with a seemingly concerned frown.

"Uh, eh?"

"Are you sure you're fine? Your temper has degraded to that of a five year-old's and it's very unlike you to be so easily angered—"

"You know what, Itachi? Forget it! Screw you!"

Kisame stormed past him into the house and slammed the door of his room shut.

Itachi assessed the situation— it was very serious indeed. He closed the door and went into the house. He sat at the table and wondered what was wrong with Kisame. After much thought, he concluded that there was only so much he could do.

And so, the Uchiha took out his phone and dialed a number.

"...Hello? You've reached Tokyo Hospital. How may I help you?"

"I'd like to make an appointment with the psychiatric department."

"Ah, all right. Sir, may I have your name and preferred contact number?"

Itachi gave the reception the name and reeled off a series of numbers.

* * *

**A/N: Sooooo, please review! Like, if i ever get them OOC, i need someone to tell me IMMEDIATELY so i can fix it! I want to make this thing perfect! :D Thanks for your support (: Review? Pretty please with dango on top? (:**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hellooo, all your lovely lovely angels who reviewed (: Dear Gen and MitchiMarra (: Love you! :D Anyway, next chapter. (: Gen, Gen! I finally got to put it up! :DD**

* * *

It started with a drizzle, but the moment Deidara left the shelter of the apartment block, a thunderstorm wrecked the world— or in the blonde's case, his hair— apart.

Startled blue eyes narrowed at the offending droplets falling from the heavens as Deidara grimaced at the spots on his grey shirt that were slowly turning black with water.

"Damn it, un."

Sasori had yelled out to Deidara to bring an umbrella when he went out for his juice, but the stubborn blonde had insisted that a drizzle wasn't going to kill him, or even frazzle him the slightest.

"Brat, there's a start to everything. A thunderstorm starts with a drizzle."

"Don't be dramatic, Danna. I'll be fine, un." And then the blonde had made _his _dramatic exit, banging the door shut and causing Sasori to cringe.

It _had _looked fine when he left, though. It had been sunny and the clouds were whiter than white. But the moment Deidara stepped out of the elevator, it was as if someone had thrown a black sheet over the skies— presumably the Gods— and there was even thunder rumbling. Which was exactly why the blonde came to the conclusion that it was a passing cloud, a transient shower, nothing too bad.

"...Should have listened to Danna, un. Never mind," Deidara trudged on hopefully towards the convenience store. "It'll stop by the time I'm done, un."

Stopping outside the convenience store, Deidara wrung his shirt out as best as he could and thanked God that his sneakers hadn't turned into twin swimming pools... yet. He shuffled his shoes over the welcome mat to dry off the worst of the wet soles. Peering in through the heavily fogged glass, he could make out a few lonely souls drifting around the otherwise empty store. He wouldn't be making a scene, then.

The bell over the glass door tinkled when the blonde pushed it open, stepping in cautiously. The cashier was reading a magazine, and she looked up when he entered. Dropping her gaze down to Deidara's shoes, she threw him a dirty look as the nonchalant blonde wandered deeper into the store, trailing water all over the floor. He noticed it and he gave a sheepish smile before walking over to the chiller and plucking out two bottles of apple juice, checking their expiry date.

His eyes lingered on the milk cartons before relenting and grabbing one. "Let's see how it'll be this time when I make coffee, un," he grinned to himself.

Hugging the drinks to his chest, he sauntered over to the counter, receiving another glare from the cashier. Deidara avoided eye contact and his attention drifted over to the umbrellas propped up against the stand by the magazine racks. Should he buy an umbrella and save himself from a horrible trip back? He sighed and reached for one but stopped midway. Sasori would kill him. After all, the redhead _did _warn him. And to buy an umbrella solely for a walk home seemed a little on the ridiculous side.

Dejected, he retracted his hand and reached for his wallet instead. Flipping through all the notes, he took out a ten thousand note and received another glare as the cashier mentioned how his items barely hit a thousand yen and that she was already short of small change as it was. Deidara paid for his things and walked out of the convenience store with another sigh.

Instead of lightening up, the sky had turned an even darker shade of grey while the blonde had been in the store. The sleeting rain pelted onto his skin like needles. "So much for stopping," he growled.

Stepping onto the sidewalk, he shivered as another onslaught of rain drenched him. He looked around at the smarter people who had carried umbrellas. Why didn't he bring an umbrella again? Right, because he was already halfway to the front door, and he was lazy to walk into the kitchen to get it.

A speeding motorbike zoomed past him through a puddle, cheerfully drenching the remaining dry areas left on the enraged blonde. "Watch where your bike is going, un!" he shouted, and noticed that he had gathered spectators. "What're you all looking at?" He said irritably, and they left.

Realizing that standing in the middle of the road fuming wasn't going to make things better, he started walking again.

"Oh? If it isn't Deidara..."

Said blonde turned around to see Hidan standing behind him, his eyebrows arched judgmentally above his eyes, holding an umbrella. "Hidan, un..."

"Yo!" The violet eyed man lifted up his free hand. "What you doing standing out here in this fucking rainstorm with no umbrella?"

"Oh, because it's fun, un," Deidara drawled.

Hidan blinked, his mouth slightly agape. He glanced up at the overcast sky briefly, as if taking Deidara's words into consideration. "Is it? I never knew that you liked walking in the rain. Maybe I should try it—"

"Hidan, you freaking idiot, un!" Deidara grabbed his hand before he could lower the umbrella from his head. "You really need to learn how to detect sarcasm!"

"You fucking asshole, you!" Hidan snarled, his cheeks flushed with humiliation.

"What are you going to do in life if you can't tell jokes apart, un?" Deidara hugged the juice nearer to his chest and started brisk walking back to the apartment. He could feel his shoes start to become waterlogged, producing annoying squelching noises with every step he took.

"It's _my _fucking life." A shadow loomed over Deidara's head and he glanced up to see that Hidan has grudgingly decided to share his umbrella. "I'm not a heartless dick," the silver haired man grunted.

"What would I do without you, Hidan, un?"

"Shut up and don't start or I'll never be nice to you again, bitch."

"Who're you calling a bitch, old man, un!?"

"Watch it, blondie!"

They reached the bottom of Deidara's block and stepped under shelter, proceeding to glare daggers at each other.

"Be grateful, won't you? I shared my fucking umbrella with you so you won't have to drag your sorry ass home in the fucking storm!"

"I was grateful until you called me a bitch, un!"

"WHAT should I call you, then?"

"Anything? Jerk, bastard, asshole? Maybe a term usually used for _my gender_, un?"

"...Just get your fucking ass upstairs. See you tomorrow," Hidan lifted his umbrella as Deidara got into the elevator and the doors started to close, "...Bitch."

"You fucking bastard, Hidan, un!"

* * *

The redhead watched the rain slip down the windowpanes through droopy brown eyes. He had his chin propped on a fist while his other hand dragged a pencil over his notebook in lazy squiggles and meaningless circles. It was the perfect weather to snuggle up in bed with a cup of black coffee and a nice book. He wondered if he should implement the tempting idea after all.

A bang. One second pause. A yell.

Sasori looked up from his textbook when he heard the incessant knocking and calls of "Danna, un!" Sighing, he unglued himself from his chair and dragged his feet to the door to unbolt the lock before slinking into the kitchen to get a glass of water.

The door clicked open and a very clean— or dirty and muddy and sopping— Deidara washed up into the house, heading towards the kitchen.

Sasori wasn't the slightest bit fazed when he took in the blonde's dripping form. He remembered being pleasant enough to remind him to bring an umbrella, but a certain stubborn brat had tossed that goodwill away. The way Deidara hugged the grocery bag so tightly actually made it look quite comical. The brat had major problems with his prioritizing after all. "Had a nice time?" The redhead drawled as he passed the walking puddle on the way out of the kitchen, receiving a defeated grunt in reply.

Amused, he leaned against the doorframe and watched Deidara take out the drinks, raising his eyebrow slightly when he saw the carton of milk. The blonde turned and saw him looking. Flashing Sasori a grin, he held up the milk carton, shook it and said, "I don't like bitter coffee, un."

"I know that, but," Sasori looked skeptical, "you _never_ buy milk because you don't actually _like _milk, remember? Brat, is your brain all right? Milk isn't sweet either. What's wrong about solving your problem with sugar?"

A flicker of something resembling panic passed over Deidara's blue eyes. He never expected Sasori to be so observant. "Uh, I just wanted to try it, you know?" He poured himself a glass of purely milk with no coffee and lifted it to his lips. "Life's short, got to live it to the fullest, un?"

"...Brat, life is long. Possibly too long. You still have a lot of time. And you've tried milk. Remember that time in senior year you decided to give it a go? You sprayed that stuff all over my shirt." Sasori narrowed his eyes at Deidara. "So don't you dare consume milk when you're near me—"

"BLEARGH!"

Sasori froze, blinked, and looked down at his now soiled shirt.

Deidara stared at him in horror. He definitely hadn't meant to do it. He put the glass down in wild panic and blindly grabbed a cloth from the sink. "God, Danna! I'm so sorry!"

The redhead moved back before the cloth could touch him. "Brat..." His voice was dangerously threatening and the blonde swallowed, hard. Sasori's brown eyes had darkened until they were almost black as he trained the full intensity of his glare on the cautious blonde.

"Y-yeah, un?"

"Get that cloth. Away. From. Me."

"Don't you want to get the milk off?" Deidara widened his eyes in confusion.

"Firstly, that cloth is _not _for anything other than the dishes," Sasori growled, "and also, I am obviously going to take a shower."

Deidara blinked. "Oh."

"And as for you," Sasori stepped up and whacked the blonde over the head.

"Shit, Danna! What the hell was that for!" He pressed a hand to his head and glared at the smirking other.

"For the horrible job you'll do cleaning up this mess you've made." Sasori dropped his gaze to the ground and Deidara followed, the both of them staring at the puddle of milk mixed into the trail of water with identical frowns, hoping that if they looked hard enough they would both wake up from their nightmare. Sasori— from the mess that he called "kitchen", and Deidara— from the sudden dread creeping in after realizing that Sasori had just indirectly told him to clean up the floor.

Flicking his eyes up to the gaping blonde, the redhead smirked. "Good luck, brat." He walked off towards his room to pick up a new shirt before locking himself in the bathroom.

Deidara stood in the kitchen, frozen, until he realized something. "DANNA! WHERE DID YOU KEEP ALL THE MOPS AND DETERGENT, UN?"

Sasori groaned loud enough for Deidara to hear.

* * *

Walking behind Pein and Konan was slightly depressing, especially for Kakuzu. He not only felt like a pimple at the tip of a nose, he was the epitome of a third wheel, an unwanted presence, but he couldn't help trailing after them. Their apartments were the same way he was going.

Pein had an arm draped around Konan's waist, and to Kakuzu, they looked as if they were permanently joined together by superglue. The man sighed and shuddered when Pein leaned in towards Konan.

Kakuzu needed to get away. He needed to get away _now_, before he drowned in their adoration for each other— and oh God, they were standing in the middle of the bloody street, damn it, why couldn't they kiss after they got home?

If he made plans immediately, he would be able to change his route and spare himself the cringing experience of walking behind the affectionate couple. He didn't hate them, but Kakuzu had something against couples who were _too _publicly affectionate. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, running through his contacts. Who should he call?

Sasori? No, the redhead would probably get pissed at him for calling and wasting his time. Deidara? No, the blonde would just make him spend the entire day in the DIY store looking for a new tool— that was actually a fiction of his imagination— or something.

Zetsu? Honestly, Kakuzu was a little disturbed by the half of his body that was covered in tattoos. He would never understand why people would do that to themselves, why anyone would WANT to do that. Tobi? No way in hell, no. Itachi? Kakuzu had no qualms about him, but the Uchiha was too awkward to handle alone. Kisame? He didn't feel like listening to the tall man spend the rest of the day talking about how "gorgeous" the Uchiha was, especially at the moment. That left...

Hidan. But he was loud and annoying and he seriously irritated the hell out of Kakuzu, not to mention, the money out of his wallet. Convincing himself that he had no other better choice, he put the phone to his ear and braced himself.

"Hey 'sup fucker!"

"...Hidan."

"Oh! It's Kakuzu! What do you want, Kuzu?"

"...What are you doing now?"

"Me? I'm just walking back home now. The apartment was fucking quiet just now because you were at classes. Couldn't stand it so I went for a walk. And then there was some fucking sudden _torrential rainstorm _and guess who got caught in it? It was kind of hilarious—"

"You?" Kakuzu guessed skeptically, wincing at how loud the other man was, quietly accepting the fact that he got ignored.

"—and that guy was hugging his grocery bags to his chest like his fucking life depended on a couple juice boxes or something. And do you know what the fucker told me? Said to me in my fucking face? He actually dared to tell me it was fun to walk in the rain. I almost believed him. And then he had the fucking guts to tell me that I needed to learn how to detect sarcasm. Like what the shit! There I was being nice to him and he didn't even say thank you. Even called me an old man. Can you believe him? Making fun of my fucking hair color—"

Kakuzu sighed. The guy Hidan was cursing at was definitely Deidara, judging from the way he was getting all worked up. The two of them seem to enjoy, and had the uncanny ability to seriously piss each other off to the extreme opposite ends of world, if they hadn't done so already.

"—even waited for the asshole to get into the elevator before I left. Can you believe that? I was so nice to him. And he called me an old man! Oh and by the way, I saw this new bar about two streets away from the convenience store and—"

"No," Kakuzu said, his attention completely stolen by the word "bar". Hidan and bars were a terrible combination for disastrous catastrophe. It could be dangerous and something was definitely going to get hurt. Badly hurt. Something like— Kakuzu's wallet, and Kakuzu himself. Through experience, Hidan liked to punch people and lick their blood when he was drunk. Kakuzu shivered at the memory. Disgusting. Unconsciously, he thought of vampires. Even more disgusting, but his mind wouldn't stop. He thought of Hidan with fangs, and he wanted to pack his bags and move out. But that was only if Hidan got drunk. He was _not _letting Hidan near that bar, new or not.

"What's wrong with you, Kuzu? What do you mean 'no'? What?"

"I mean _no_, Hidan. No bars. You're _not _stepping into a bar."

"WHY?"

"Remember the last time you got drunk, and you licked my blood."

There was a pause. And then static reverberated throughout Kakuzu's ear. "YOU FUCKING LIAR! I did _not_. I know I punched you but there is just no fucking way I did that! Because I do _not _do that! Fucking hell, what are you trying to pull!"

"You did punch me. But you licked my blood after that."

"I didn't!"

"You were drunk, Hidan. Would you remember?"

"...And you didn't stop me!?"

"You could say that I was too traumatized to react."

"...GET YOUR FUCKING ASS HOME RIGHT NOW, KAKUZU. I'M GOING TO FUCKING ANNIHILATE YOU."

"Impressive vocabulary, idiot. Is that a new word I hear you using?"

"JUST GET YOUR FUCKING ASS HERE. NOW."

Kakuzu cringed again and hung up. Maybe Zetsu and Tobi didn't seem like a bad idea after all. He turned the next corner and started to make his way to their apartment. They would hardly mind his intrusion.

When Konan turned around, she couldn't see anyone familiar. "Hey, where's Kakuzu?"

Pein followed her gaze. "Off to the bank or something along similar lines, probably?"

"Oh? Why am I not surprised?"

Pein's lip quirked up into a smirk as he spun Konan around to plant a kiss on her forehead.

The blue haired girl widened her maroon eyes and blushed, pressing a hand to her forehead that was still tingling with the remnants of Pein's touch. "Wow. Now I'm surprised."

"You were supposed to be. If that does not surprise you, then I'm afraid that I've run out of tricks. My sleeves are empty."

"Oh, Pein, you talk weirdly and way too formally and shit, but I don't really give a damn, you're just so awkward and cute!"

"I'll take that as a compliment, my lady."

Konan blushed again.

* * *

Someplace else, Hidan was still shouting into his phone, not noticing that the line had been cut and that he was yelling at the dialing tone.

"KA. KU. ZU!" He growled, and stopped to take another deep breath, ready to destroy the other man's eardrums with his loudest try yet.

A soft consecutive beeping sound permeated his senses. He listened harder. "Wha..." he muttered, turning up the volume.

_Beep_. _Beep_. _Beep_...

Realization dawned upon him and he clenched his fist, the phone trembling by his ear, threatening to break.

"FUCK YOU, KAKUZU!"

* * *

**A/N: I'm not used to writing Humor/Romance. More of an Angst kind of writer, but writing humor is really fun :D ahahaha. REVIEW PLEASE! Here's a cookie for all you readers, and for you reviewers, here's another cookie! :D thanks!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello. Haha exams are over! Thanks MitchiMarra, Envyyyyy and Gen for reviewing :D Love you guys! Here's the next chapter. Haha.**

* * *

As much as he disliked attending classes, Deidara preferred them to weekends. Saturdays and Sundays were a drag. He had nothing to do and nowhere to go. Even if he had something to do, he had no one to spend the time with.

The last week he had run out of clay. Sasori had been busy with his homework and refused to accompany him to the nearest DIY store. Deidara had tried everything. He bribed him, he praised him, he even offered to buy the redhead coffee, but Sasori hadn't budged.

"Look, I'll be good and go to every class this week."

"That's what you _should_ be doing."

"I'll... do my homework, un. Every single one."

"What you should do everyday."

"I'll do the laundry, un!"

"As always, originally your job."

"Why don't you just—"

"No."

"Danna..."

"Shut up, brat. I said no, I won't go."

And so he had gone by himself.

He was up very early today. Too early. At least for a Saturday, eleven was way too early in the day to be out of bed. He'd tried going back to sleep, but tossing and turning hadn't helped.

Eventually the blonde stumbled out of the room into the bathroom. Sasori heard him and checked the clock, slightly impressed that he had made it out of bed. He stuck his head out of the kitchen when the shower started running.

The redhead leaned against the wall outside the kitchen, tapping his feet and looking at the seconds tick by on the wall clock. Deidara had been inside for quite some time now, and he never turned off the water anytime in between. _Water bills_…

Sauntering over to the heater, he flipped the switch up, smirking to himself as a string of familiar curses drifted from behind the door.

"It's a good way for you to wake up, brat," Sasori answered, not the least bothered about the angry blonde who would be stomping towards him with a towel wrapped around his waist...who never did. A little puzzled, he turned towards the bathroom. "Brat? Shouldn't you be trying to strangle me right about now?"

There was rustling and annoyed grumbling behind the door, and eventually the blonde slammed it open, glaring at Sasori.

"Will you _stop _doing that, un! It's going to give me a heart attack someday!"

"Even I don't think you're that weak in the heart," Sasori raised an eyebrow at the long sleeved shirt that Deidara was wearing. "You're actually wearing a shirt straight out of a shower. Good job, brat. Anyway, you need to hurry. The rest wants to meet for lunch. I was going to wake you up but," the redhead grinned, "good thing you got up on your own."

Deidara scowled, and dragged his feet into the kitchen, pulling his sleeves down lower. "When did they plan it?"

"About nine. When you were still snoring—"

"I do _not _snore, Danna." Deidara yanked open the fridge door, blinking before his lips quirked up into a smile. "What did you do to the milk, un?"

"It went on a long journey."

"Down the rubbish chute?"

"Smart. I knew you had it in you, brat."

The blonde drummed his fingers on the tempered glass shelves in the fridge and sighed, pulling out the juice. "They cost quite a lot, you know."

"My shirt probably caused more."

"That's why we have a washing machine, un!" Deidara stared at Sasori in brief disbelief. "Don't tell me you threw your shirt away."

"I didn't," the redhead narrowed his eyes at the blonde, as usual, astounded by his ridiculousness. "You have under an hour to do whatever it is you want to do, and we're leaving."

"Danna, we're due at one. It's eleven now. Why the heck do we need over an hour to get to town, un?"

"You never know what might happen and I don't like being late."

"This is just too exaggerated in my opinion, un."

"Brat, do you want me to kill you?"

"I'm good, thanks, un." Deidara twisted the cover off the juice box and gulped it down.

Sasori rolled his eyes and grabbed a croissant out of the plastic, walking towards the blonde. Deidara put the juice down in surprise as the redhead whacked his chest and stuffed the pastry into his mouth. He winced and took a bite. "Ow, un," he muttered.

"What? You've got a broken rib or something, brat?"

"No. How about it's because you hit me a little too hard, Danna?" Deidara finished the rest of the croissant and made a face. "I'll just be in my room, un."

Sasori watched the blonde walk away, pulling at his sleeves. _Is the brat sick? He's being a little weird today._

* * *

The atmosphere was all wrong. Zetsu couldn't stand the awkwardness any more and picked up the menu, hiding behind the propped up laminate. Tobi caught on that something was wrong and didn't say a word, unusually quiet. Even Pein and Konan weren't all over each other, knowing that the timing was bad.

Itachi looked around and was about to make a comment when Deidara clapped a hand over his mouth, earning a startled squeak from Kisame. Sasori raised an eyebrow at the tall man's reaction.

"Hidan," the redhead finally said, and the silver haired man threw him his deadliest glare. "Don't take this the wrong way, but please tell us what the hell is wrong so we can start ordering the food. We've waited long enough."

"Why the fuck should I say it?" Hidan growled. "Ask the fucking bastard Kakuzu."

Sasori pleasantly ignored the vulgarities that spilled from the other's mouth and turned to Kakuzu, who was staring almost unblinkingly at the wall beside Sasori. "Kakuzu?"

"It's none of my business. I didn't do anything wrong. Ask the uncivilized idiot."

"Save your breath, Danna. Hidan must have nicked Kuzu's wallet, un."

"Okay, guys. Let's stop being all weird and order, all right?" Konan raised her hand and waved it to get the waitress's attention. "Everyone knows what they want, right?"

"Damn straight," Hidan stomped his foot. "I want Kakuzu's fucking head on a silver platter."

"Shut the fuck up before I tear _your _head off your shoulders."

"Let's see you try, you liar!"

"Who's the liar, you drunken—"

"Does Hidan-san want Kuzu-san's head on a platter the same silver as his hair?" Tobi piped in.

"Tobi, un, I advise you to keep your stupid mouth shut if you value your life."

Deidara was a little too late because Kakuzu's extraordinarily long hands were already throttling Tobi's neck.

"Kakuzu, I think he's going out soon," Kisame offered. "Maybe you should let him go..."

"Don't bother, Kisame." Itachi said, watching Zetsu try to save his roommate. "Nothing will stop him."

The waitress padded over and took in the bizarre scene, blinking twice before flashing an oblivious smile and asking for their orders.

Pein was impressed by her ability to compose herself, and chuckled silently to himself as he observed a bead of perspiration start to form at her temple, while she tried not to get pissed over the fact that everyone except Konan was ignoring her.

"Can I have spaghetti bolognaise with extra Parmesan cheese," Konan said tiredly. "And a coke."

The waitress nodded, glad to be of some service.

"The mushroom soup in bread bowl," Pein muttered.

Deidara frowned at the menu, unable to make up his mind. "Uh... How about... The uh, chicken chop with mashed potatoes." He flipped to the last page. "And apple juice, un. Extra gravy on the potatoes."

Sasori reached out and grabbed the menu from the startled blonde. "I'll have the egg sandwich and black coffee."

"Tobi wants cotton candy!"

"Sorry, sir. We don't have that here..." The waitress gave Tobi a questioning glance.

"Oh... Then Tobi wants fish and chips. And hot chocolate!"

"Caesar salad," Zetsu said.

"Grilled fish with herbed potatoes," Itachi looked up from the menu, ignoring Kisame's cringe. "And a latte."

"I think I'm just going to have the waffles with the double-scoop ice cream." Kisame muttered, the image of eating fish making his insides churn.

"Water," Kakuzu snapped shortly.

Everyone turned to look at Hidan. The flustered man threw them a dirty look. "What?"

"You haven't ordered, Hidan-san! Even Tobi ordered! Tobi is having—"

"Shut up," Hidan glanced through the menu. "Beef steak with wedges. And a Heineken—"

"No," Kakuzu interrupted. "He'll have a soda."

Hidan stared openmouthed at Kakuzu, hardly processing what just happened. The waitress repeated their orders and walked away, visibly breathing a sigh of relief.

"What did you do that for, Kuzu!"

"I said, no alcohol," Kakuzu narrowed his eyes at Hidan. "No. Not a single drop."

"What are you being such a fucking asshole for! Are you my grandmother?"

"No, I'm your roommate, and I am _not _living with a drunk who goes around licking people's blood—"

"Shut your fucking mouth before I break it!"

Hidan froze and glanced around the table, dread creeping into his chest when he realized that he had self admitted into doing exactly what Kakuzu had said. _Fuck. I do _not _lick blood._

The other nine pairs of eyes were trained on the silver haired man. He felt his heart beat faster. _I definitely do not lick blood... that's fucking disgusting._ He tried to crack a sheepish smile, but it came out as an awkward baring of teeth.

"Yeah," Kakuzu was saying. "Break my jaw and lick my blood, why don't you? Idiot."

"I said I don't—"

"You were drunk, you weren't aware, right?" Pein sounded strangled, a little disturbed.

"Are you trying to say that I _did_ lick Kuzu's blood!?"

"Do you have any proof of not doing so?" Itachi said in a monotone.

"Kakuzu doesn't have any proof of Hidan licking his blood either," Zetsu pointed out.

"Hidan licks blood when he's drunk, un?" Deidara stared at the silver haired man in obvious horror. "What the fuck, man."

"Kakuzu, are you sure—"

"I'm damn sure. The last time he got drunk, he punched me and licked my blood."

"That's bloody messed up," Kisame gasped. "Hidan!"

"That must be the reason why Hidan and Kakuzu made the whole mood so tensed just now." Sasori let out a sigh. "Kakuzu, maybe you should have kept that bit of information to yourself."

"It's disturbing. Why should I carry the burden alone?" Kakuzu scowled.

"Guys, just _chill_ okay? And eat, _quietly_." Konan tapped the table to get their attention. "Seriously. It's awkward enough as it is."

"Konan is right," Pein added.

"Pein, Konan is always right to you," Zetsu muttered.

"Leave the love struck boy alone," Kisame shook his head.

Sasori surveyed the table with his usual drooping eyelids. _I think I need normal friends_.

"Let's get Hidan drunk and lock him in a room with Kuzu, un," Deidara suddenly said, a wide smile forming on his face, his sapphire eyes lighting up. "And then we'll solve this once and for all."

"Brat, if you value your life, I don't think—" Sasori broke off to slap away Kakuzu's hands, which were reaching for the blonde's throat.

"I'm serious, Danna!"

"I object," Kakuzu growled.

"I think I support Deidara's idea..." Kisame said.

"Me too." Zetsu grinned. "Who else? Raise your hands!"

There was four seconds of silence, and everyone except Kakuzu and Hidan raised their hand. Sasori hadn't wanted to, but Deidara had grabbed his hand and yanked it up into the air.

"Then, it's decided..."

Hidan wanted to dig a hole somewhere, crawl into it, and never come out again.

Kakuzu just wanted to throttle everyone.

* * *

Zetsu slammed the pack of six beer cans on the tabletop and looked up at Deidara, grinning. Pein and Konan hadn't come with them, because according to Konan, it was going to be "disastrous". But the rest had other ideas as to why they didn't want to spend any more time with them.

The blonde nodded and turned to Hidan. "All yours, un!"

"I. Said. _No_," Kakuzu hissed through gritted teeth. "Which part of the two alphabets N-O do you all not understand?"

"The fact that those two alphabets are side by side," Deidara answered, waving the seething man off.

"You son of a—"

"Please tell me again why we're doing this in my apartment," Itachi sighed. "To be honest, I'm not very agreeable to this—"

"Well, sorry for disturbing your private time with Kisame, but your apartment IS the biggest."

Kisame turned red. "Wh...what p...private time—"

"All right, un!" Deidara interrupted, shoving the pack of beer into Hidan's arms. "Drink up, old man!"

The silver haired man was too stunned to even react. "I..."

"Hidan, if you dare to drink even _one _can, I will—"

"Ignore Kuzu, Hidan! Drink them all, un!"

"_Deidara._" Kakuzu was ready to kill the blonde, who really couldn't care less.

"Senpai, look out!"

Deidara jumped away before Kakuzu could break his neck in half. "Chill, Kuzu, un!"

"Brat, I think I'm going home first. I don't want to know how this will turn out, and it's too noisy for my liking—"

"Danna, you can't leave now," the blonde grabbed the retreating redhead's shirt. "I swear it'll be funny, un."

"Hell no. Brat, let go—"

"Are you kidding, Sasori? Do you want the kid to get raped or something on the way back afterwards?" Zetsu raised an eyebrow but received no response. "Don't tell me you've forgotten the last time Deidara went home by himself in the middle of the night." Sasori stopped in mid step.

Deidara turned a shade of crimson. "What the fuck was that, Zetsu? Do you really think I can't defend myself, un? That time was different, I was drunk! You take that back or I'll disfigure you, un!"

"Deidara, even though you're a man, it's not obvious. Your hair totally makes you a girl." Zetsu turned to the frozen redhead. "Still leaving, Sasori?"

The redhead slowly turned around. "Brat, you come back with me now."

"No way, Danna. This is my plan, un."

Hidan stood with the pack of beer, completely forgotten, in the middle of the room. Inching his way to the side, he opened one and chugged the cool liquid down. He had been craving for alcohol since the day Kakuzu refused to let him enter a bar. The stingy bastard kept an eye on him 24/7 and it pissed him off.

He felt the need tone down as the alcohol penetrated his system. Obviously he didn't lick blood when he was drunk. Maybe he beat people up, but he would never do something that disgusting. And it wasn't as if he was completely unaware of his actions when he was drunk.

The bickering in the background faded as Hidan downed the next five cans. When the last can was empty, he shook the beer can and groaned. How did six cans of beer disappear so quickly?

"Hey, you fuckers over there, stop shouting and get me more beer!" Hidan waved the last empty can in the air and crushed it in his fist, slamming it down on the table.

Itachi and Kisame shook their heads, feeling the pain for their furniture. Zetsu and Deidara stopped trying to kill each other and turned to Hidan. Sasori lifted his head from the couch where he was sitting in and raised his eyebrow at the horrified Kakuzu. Tobi jumped up and down, clapping his hands. "Hidan-san finished the whole value pack! Tobi feels so amazed!"

"Sharrap, Tobi," Hidan slurred. "Get me more beer—"

Before they knew it, Deidara had grabbed Hidan by the back of his shirt and thrown the drunk man into Kisame's room, Zetsu tossing Kakuzu in after him. They closed the door and locked it with the spare key, holding onto the doorknob anyway because the door could be unlocked form the inside.

Kisame sat dumbfounded. "Guys... that's my room. You know that I'll never be able to repair my stuff again, right?"

"It's okay, Kisame. It's going to be worth it, un."

"Kisame is already having some mental problems, I suggest you try not to disturb his mind too much," Itachi added.

"I said I'm not crazy, Itachi," Kisame muttered. He had received a phone call from the hospital the day before, informing him that he had an appointment tomorrow at nine in the morning, and that he had to turn up at the psychiatry specialist department. His thoughts had immediately turned to Itachi. The bastard Uchiha must have made the appointment for him and given them his phone number. The bastard. The _bastard_. Kisame groaned and dropped his head into his hands. _Why do I even like him? _

"Don't forget your hospital appointment tomorrow," Itachi reminded him.

"I said I'm not crazy, why should I go and see a psychiatrist!?"

"I seriously think you're showing symptoms of schizophrenia and you should really consider making sure—"

"I think if I were crazy, I should know." Kisame turned away abruptly, torn between punching the Uchiha for being so annoying and blurting out a confession to him for being so concerned.

Sasori observed the pair. _Kisame's got it bad for Uchiha._ He turned to look at Deidara who was hanging on to the doorknob for dear life. _And Hidan and Kakuzu obviously have a thing for each other. Zetsu likes Tobi... Tobi likes Deidara... Pein and Konan are obsessed with each other... I'm surrounded by idiots. _A stray thought crossed his mind. _If everyone likes someone, who does the brat like?_

There was strangled yell from Kisame's room and the redhead's attention diverted slightly, eyes widening and eyebrows raised, a little irritated as Zetsu grabbed Deidara around the waist to help yank the door close against Kakuzu's frantic shouting and the muffled sounds that seemed like Hidan pounding on him.

"Just let the poor guy out," Kisame sighed.

Deidara let go and he and Zetsu tumbled backwards onto the ground, the door slamming open so hard against the wall the chandelier above the dining table vibrated.

Sasori was next to Deidara in three long strides, hauling him onto his feet. "Brat, this is not for your eyes. We're going home _now_."

"Aw man," Zetsu sniggered. "You two get along well."

Tobi gave a little yell and covered his eyes. "TOBI'S NOT READY FOR THIS!"

Kisame blushed.

Itachi choked on his coffee.

Everyone gathered outside the door, peering in. "Oh. My. Fucking. _God._"

* * *

**A/N: Please review, guys! And a cookie for readers, plus an EXTRA cookie for reviewers! :D Thanks! :D**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello! New update (: Thanks PsychoPyro and Gen for reviewing :D I love you guys, so I shall dedicate this chapter to you! :D Thanks for the support!**

* * *

Kakuzu looked absolutely livid. His eyes scanned the room, where everyone had suddenly gone dead still. Hidan hung off his back, lips plastered to his neck, making small sounds of contentment as he sucked away.

It was the most disturbing sight. Kakuzu had never felt more pissed or mortified in his whole entire freaking life. He had to suppress the urge to go on a rampage and strangle _every fucking person_ in the room who laid their eyes on him.

But first he wanted to _fucking kill_ the bitch that was attached to his back.

Deidara held in the urge to laugh and tried to pry off Sasori's hands, which were attempting to block his vision. "What the hell man!"

Kisame felt a small jolt of sympathy for the stingy man and tried to help pry Hidan off, but the albino refused to budge.

Zetsu didn't even try to conceal his glee. "Well guess what, everyone! Hidan has a hidden fetish."

Itachi sighed and visibly facepalmed himself, glancing up at the ceiling and wondering what on earth he had done wrong to deserve being in such a situation. Tobi was hiding behind his cousin, trembling. "Kakuzu, I think you should take Hidan home before they try something else."

"How the fuck am I supposed to do that? In this state? In _his _state?"

"What, you mean you want to stay over with Hidan in Kisame's room?" Zetsu choked out between his outbursts.

"Fuck no. I—"

"I'll _drive_ you two home, so stop shouting in my apartment." The exasperated Uchiha stood up and finished the last of his coffee. He rubbed the side of his head and closed his eyes, blowing out a sigh.

Kisame's jaw hung open in shock. "Itachi's offering to give them a lift. In his _car_. The world is coming to an end."

Itachi grabbed his phone off the table and spun his car keys around his finger. "Well then, let's go now." When Kakuzu didn't budge, he narrowed his eyes. "Get a move on, please."

Kakuzu gave a grunt and limped out of the room, giving everyone— particularly a certain blonde and a heavily tattooed man— a death glare that promised torture after he had recovered from the trauma. "I'm going to tear all of you limb. From. Limb."

Sasori felt Deidara shudder.

"And the rest of you, I hope that by the time I return, you will be safely back in your own apartments." One short glare from Itachi sent everyone scrabbling to grab their things. "Or else I will personally escort every single one of you back. Am I understood?"

"Y…yes, sir!"

* * *

"Wasn't that like the biggest breakthrough ever, un!"

Sasori shook his head as he walked next to the hyper blonde. "Breakthrough? I'd classify it as a disaster. Kakuzu is going to kill you, brat."

"Does it matter? I have Danna to protect me, un," Deidara replied good naturedly, unknowingly sending a warm shiver down the redhead's spine.

"Hn." He didn't know what else to say.

They continued walking in silence down the street towards the subway. The redhead couldn't help wondering why on earth Deidara had decided to wear a long sleeved shirt. The last time he had seen the blonde wear long sleeves was either a jacket, or a memory almost three years old. He contemplated asking, but decided against it. It wasn't exactly important.

He looked over to see Deidara staring at the ground, deep in thought. He watched those familiar blue eyes trained on the street and the small frown on his face. _What's he thinking about?_

"Hey, brat."

"Uh, un?" The blonde started and looked at him, one eyebrow raised in question.

"Do you have something on your mind?"

"Something? What thing? I don't think so, un. Haha," he said awkwardly.

"You do know that…" the redhead hesitated before looking back into Deidara's eyes. "You do know that, you can trust me. Right?"

Deidara felt his heart almost stop. "Uh. Yeah, Danna, un. You know I don't trust anyone more than I trust you."

"So if you have problems, you can tell me. Right?"

"Is your psychologist mode on, Danna? You'd make a really good one, un." Deidara grinned at him, amused.

"Right?" Sasori insisted.

"Yeah." He relented. "Of course, un."

"Good."

They continued in silence until a thin streak of lightning rippled in the sky.

Sasori narrowed his eyes when the first raindrop hit his face. _No umbrella…_

"Oh hey, Danna, why'd you stop walking?"

"Do you have an umbrella?"

"Huh? No, un. Didn't bring one out. Why?"

He was answered by the onslaught of rain that washed down over the unfortunate pair as if someone had decided to pour a bucket of water over them.

"Shit! This is the second time this happened this week, un!" Deidara put his hands up as if by doing that, he could fend off the rain. "Ugh."

"I don't think we can make it to the station…"

"Then what?"

"We should wait it out somewhere."

Deidara just made a face and followed the redhead, jogging towards the nearest shelter.

* * *

The sight of two sopping wet boys entering a café was not the most usual occurrence. The patrons gave the both of them a five second once over before turning away.

The waitress shot them slightly annoyed looks and even more annoyed looks at the puddles they left trailing behind them. "Can I… help you?"

"C…can we s…see your menu, u…un?" Deidara was shivering, pulling his sleeves down over his fingers and stuffing his hands into his jeans pocket.

"…Hold on."

They walked over to an empty booth and slid into it.

The same waitress appeared again and slapped two copies of the menu onto the table. "Last order is in half an hour," she said in a clipped tone, obviously hoping that the pair would take the hint and either hurry up or find another café so that she wouldn't have to get off work late.

"Latte," Sasori said, without even touching the menu.

The blonde, however, was flipping through the drinks section and taking his own sweet time. "Uhm… Hot chocolate," he finally said. "An a club sandwich, un!"

The waitress scribbled down their orders, grabbed the menus, blew out a sigh and stormed off.

"I think she's pissed you ordered food. It takes preparation time, and they are closing."

"It's their job to be nice to customers, un!"

"Customers have a duty as well."

"What, un?"

"It's respect, brat. Respect."

"Tch, un."

They sat in comfortable silence as they waited for their orders. Deidara sipped his hot chocolate and watched the patrons start to leave as it neared midnight. Sasori stole half of his sandwich but he didn't really care.

The last straw came when the redhead tried to sneak the piece of bacon out of the half Deidara was eating. "Hands off, Danna!" the blonde slapped at Sasori's hand. "Or I'll hate you forever, un." His blue eyes twinkled with laughter. "Nobody steals my bacon and lives."

Sasori's lips quirked up in a half smile as he shook his head and chuckled at Deidara's annoying but somewhat adorable child likeness despite the tough façade he liked to put on.

But the redhead didn't know how his smile made the blonde's heart beat faster or the way his sapphire eyes widened and froze. He didn't know how his laugh and crinkling warm brown eyes had sparked the ache that was starting to form again in Deidara's chest or the throbbing in his temple.

* * *

"_Brat_. What the _hell_ are you doing inside the bathroom?"

Sasori sighed as he heard the blonde fumbling behind the door, giving annoyed little grunts.

"Can't you give me _any_ sort of privacy, un! You even have to nag about me being in the _bathroom_."

"Anyone would nag. You've been in there for forty five minutes at least."

"Go away, Danna!"

"Braaaat." _Knock, knock. _"Braaaaaaaaat." _Bang, bang._ "Braaaaaaaa—"

The door opened and Deidara stepped outside, annoyed and pulling down his sleeves, adjusting his shirt, before reaching up to run his fingers through his long hair. "Bastard, un."

"We're leaving in ten minutes," the redhead said before disappearing into the bathroom. _Long sleeves again..._

Deidara stood outside for a while, staring at the door, before he made his way into the kitchen to nick another one of Sasori's croissants. He found a mug of black coffee waiting for him on the table and grinned to himself. _Danna… thank you._

Sasori put his head around the entrance of the kitchen and narrowed his eyes at the blonde who was charging himself with caffeine. "Three minutes."

"Yeah, yeah. I'm almost done, un." Deidara stuffed the last of the croissant into his mouth and washed it down with the remaining few mouthfuls of coffee, placing the empty cup in the sink and dragging his feet out.

Sasori sighed and shook his head. "I was actually expecting you to wash the cup, since I made the coffee."

"Un?" the blonde blinked. "Uh. Do I really have to go back in there and wash it?"

"Forget it. I'll wash it later. Now get your ass out of the apartment."

"I _love_ you, Danna!"

"Shut up, brat."

But Deidara didn't know how his carelessly spoken words had ignited something like a small flame within the stoic redhead; filling him with wave after wave of the warmest warmth he had ever felt in a long, long time.

* * *

Hidan's head was _killing_ him. The permanent, annoying throbbing refused to budge from his head, an underlying problem that slowly became a huge one when the silver haired man realized that the dull ache was spreading to the rest of his head and even up to his neck. It had been that way since Sunday morning.

The teacher was going on about something related to mythology and Hidan had no freaking idea why they were teaching that in a history course. Not like it mattered, he wasn't going to listen, anyway. He put his head down on the table carefully, groaning quietly at the sharp pain that shot up the back of his skull as his forehead connected gently with the surface of the acrylic desk.

His mind swirled with hazy memories. What the heck did he do to make his head suffer so much? Last last night. What had he done? He had downed a few cans of beer, but that was about it. Probably just a hangover, but he didn't think that was the reason why Kakuzu had looked so murderous waking him up the next morning. And this morning too.

"Get. _Up_."

"Nnnghh Kuzu, fuggoff…"

"Up. _Now._"

"Gnnnghh… leave me alone…"

Hidan's entire body almost convulsed with pain when he felt the pillow collide with his face. "What the fuck!" he'd sat up so abruptly the room spun around him. He'd winced and grabbed his temple with his hands. "What did you _do _that for, you piece of shit!"

"Class. Get up. Now."

The look in Kakuzu's eyes had spelled "murder" letter by letter, and even Hidan felt a little intimidated by the glare that seemed to pierce through his retorts that suddenly seemed weak and useless.

"Fine. I'll get up. Nothing to get so fucking upset about…" Hidan had grumbled and stumbled out of bed, walking into the walls at least five times until Kakuzu had lost his patience and dumped the poor hung-over man in the bathtub and ran the cold water tap over his face.

"…DA_AAARRRGHHH_HHHHHHH! Kuzu, you FUCKING ASSHOLE. THE WATER IS _FREEZING_! DID IT COME FROM FUCKING ANTARTICA!?"

"Antartica doesn't exist. It only goes to show that you've been secretly watching Disney films like _The Little Mermaid_."

"FUCK OFF. I BET YOU _IMPORTED_ THE WATER FROM _SIBERIA_."

"Whatever you want to think."

Hidan groaned and pounded his fists on the desk until the vibrations from his fists started to aggravate his hangover headache. "Fucking hell… it hurts…"

What _had_ he done to piss the stingy bastard off so much, then?

Lunch on Saturday with the retards he called friends, and then…

His eyes widened and he sat up straight in his chair, grimacing at his head started to swim again. _Fuck no. Deidara and his fucking idiotic plan. And that bastard Zetsu_.

He had a vague recollection of finishing a whole pack of six cans of beer and then someone throwing him into a room. He frowned, tapping his forehead, willing more to surface. But he couldn't remember anymore than someone yelling at him to "get the fuck off my back".

_Get off whose back? What was I doing on someone's back? That voice… Kakuzu?_

"_What the hell, man!"_

"_Well guess what, everyone! Hidan has a hidden fetish."_

Hidan felt a jolt of dread and slight paranoia. _Fuck. No. God, just. Fuck no._

"…dismissed."

Hidan was out of the classroom faster than anyone could scrape their chair backwards, heading towards the part of the campus where the business undergraduates usually have their lectures in.

* * *

Pein, Konan and Kakuzu were just about to open the door of the lecture theatre when it was flung open towards them with Hidan storming in, his face a mixture of red and green as if he was so angry or disgusted he was about to puke all over the place.

"…Hidan?" Konan peered at him carefully, her blue bangs falling over her eyes as she watched the panting man.

"Is something wrong?" Pein asked, having a bad gut feeling about it.

Kakuzu just narrowed his eyes and glared.

"Kuzu, what the _fuck_ happened last last night?" Hidan stepped forward and grabbed his collar. "_What_ happened? After I got drunk?"

"Drunk?" Konan wrinkled her nose. "Did you guys seriously go back to Itachi's to carry out your sadistic plan?"

"Yes, we did," Kakuzu ground out. "And they got me involved, too."

"What happened?" Pein repeated Hidan's question, except in a more civilized manner.

"This bitch got drunk. Latched himself onto my back and tried to suck my blood dry," Kakuzu growled drily. He watched Hidan's eyes widen in disbelief and a sort of horror bloom behind his stare. _He doesn't remember. The nerve…_

"I did _not_!"

"Like I said, you did. And you were drunk. You wouldn't remember. But everyone else saw. I think that asshole Zetsu filmed a video."

"He did _not_! I did fucking _not_!"

"Screw you, Hidan. Move it," Kakuzu shoved past the bumbling albino and stormed down the corridor.

Hidan stood frozen in the doorway, still trying to process the newfound confirmation. _Why_…

"Hidan, I hate to break it to you, but I think Kakuzu's telling the truth. We just have to double check it with Itachi or Kisame, and we will be able to confirm it." Pein gave him a sympathetic pat on the back and Konan hugged him comfortingly.

"Don't worry, Hidan. You're still you. We'll keep an eye on you when you go drinking next time."

"…I do _not_ lick blood when I get wasted. Fuck no."

"It's nothing to be ashamed of—"

"Leave it, Konan. He's in a state of denial right now. He won't listen to anything."

"Well, all right. Let's just leave him here."

The both of them threw the stricken silver haired man another look and walked down the corridor.

* * *

"Do you think Hidan and Kakuzu are handling themselves well?" Kisame asked, slipping into the seat next to Itachi in the Italian restaurant. The both of them had suddenly developed a craving for spaghetti and pizza, and decided to have lunch at the nearest dining area that matched their craving.

"Kakuzu will find a way. I'm not sure about Hidan, though. I think he will be in denial for a couple more days." The Uchiha raised his hand to catch the attention of the waiter. "This," he pointed at a few choices on the menu, "this, and this," and returned it.

"Passion fruit soda," Kisame chirped.

The waiter jotted down their orders and left.

"Kuzu doesn't seem to be taking it well either. Maybe we went too far this time?"

"We?" Itachi raised an eyebrow and fixed his crimson stare on Kisame. "What did _we_ do? All _we_ did was sit there and watch them wreck the apartment apart."

"I don't know," Kisame said, slightly annoyed. "We didn't try to stop them."

"Would they have listened?" Itachi looked away.

"…Probably not."

The pizza came first, and Kisame tore off a slice, contentedly sinking his sharper-than-the-normal teeth into the crust.

"By the way, you didn't go for your checkup yesterday."

The broad shouldered man finished his pizza slice and glanced up at the frowning Uchiha. "Checkup?" he asked with his mouth full, "what checkup?"

"At the hospital? The reception called," Itachi narrowed his eyes.

"Hospital—? Oh." Immediately, Kisame stiffened. "I _told_ you I am sane. I do not _need_ to go for a _mental_ checkup. I'm not crazy. Will you _stop _making me go for a checkup?"

"Are you sure? I think you should know schizophrenia is quite a serious thing. It induces hallucinations and it might endanger your life."

"And you care because…?" Kisame didn't know what made him say it, but he had blurted it out before he had realized.

Itachi's eyes widened slightly before he studied Kisame's face closely, resting his chin on his propped up fist. "Why do I care, you ask…"

Kisame almost died trying not to strangle the Uchiha for taking such a long time to answer.

"…I don't particularly embrace the idea of my closest friend submitting to a mental illness that from what I know, will put him in near death situations."

"…What the heck does that mean. Can't you talk normally?" Kisame felt himself trembling.

"In simple words, you could say that say I do not wish to lose you."

Before they knew it, Kisame had enveloped the stunned Uchiha in a hug.

* * *

Deidara turned his key in the lock and entered the apartment with a sigh. He walked to the couch and dumped his things on the couch. He had just spent the whole class in the lab doing analysis on bloodstains. It wasn't the most exciting activity.

There was a dull aching feeling in his chest. A feeling that made him want to reach inside to find the source of the pain and rip it out. He couldn't stand it anymore. He didn't know why he felt that way, but it had come about in the recent few months.

He dragged his feet into the bathroom and locked the door behind him. He leaned against the sink and watched his reflection in the mirror. Slowly, carefully, he placed a palm over his heart, willing the ache to subside, but it only amplified when a certain redhead crept into his mind.

_No. I can't think about him now._

Deidara squeezed his eyes shut.

_I can't._

He pulled his long sleeved turtleneck over his head and dropped the grey garment onto the tiles of the bathroom floor.

His finger traced the scars along the whole length of his arms. Some were old and healing, others were fresh and still pink.

_I am a coward. But I can't let Danna know how I feel. I don't want to risk losing him. _

He wondered briefly if falling in love with Sasori was what caused him to cut, but realized that it wasn't it. He had harbored a certain kind of sadness since a long time ago. He had always kept it under the layers of his near flawless façade, but he couldn't do it forever. He needed an outlet to let it go. He had decided to channel all the sadness into the life that oozed out of the cuts he made on his body. As if by doing that, he could drain himself of the unexplainable sadness.

Without thinking, his hand reached into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out his Swiss army knife. Deidara deftly flicked through the different kind of blades and clicked the one he was looking for in place.

Slowly, he dragged the blade along a length of his arm, watching, almost transfixed at the liquid bubbled from the wound and trickled down to his elbow.

The aching in his chest throbbed once, twice.

Before he could stop himself, he had made a wide slit across the surface of once perfect skin over his heart, the dark blood making a slow trail down to his stomach before seeping into a dark, almost black patch into the material of his jeans.

_I feel it everyday, it's all the same._

_It brings me down, but I'm the one to blame._

_I've tried everything to get away._

_So here I go again, chasing you down again._

_Why do I do this?_

* * *

**A/N: How was it? :D Please review! :D cookies to you readers and an extra lollipop to reviewers! :D Thanks for supporting me. There aren't many SasoDei shippers around so I get high when someone else who shares my joy in SasoDei comes into the picture. We can relate, you know? :D Anyway please review! :D Thanks!  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry about the long wait! :D I got a part time job at PastMania in the airport terminal 3 so been busy. But here it is! :D And thank you Mous, Envyyyyy, HerpyDerpy, MitchiMarra and PsychoPyro for reviewing! :D**

* * *

The sound of running water in the shower was resonating around the apartment when Sasori stepped in. Deidara had been showering a hell lot more often recently. And he always took a long time.

He shook his head, thinking of the recently increasing water bills and kicked his shoes off at the welcome mat. He dropped his books on the dining table and sighed. After stoning on the couch for a few minutes, he went into the kitchen for a drink.

He eyed the coffee machine, wondering if he should brew himself a cup of coffee. Deciding against it, he yanked the fridge door open and rummaged through all the juice boxes and the few cans of beer.

He was about to pour himself a glass of fruit punch when Deidara walked in, rubbing his dripping wet hair with a towel. Sasori happened to glance up at him and noticed his choice of clothing. Finally, his curiosity got the better of him. He couldn't stand it any longer.

"Brat," he said, setting down the juice box and straightening up against the counter.

The blonde padded over and draped the towel around his shoulders. "Hmm?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"May I ask _why _you're wearing long sleeved shirts so often nowadays?" The redhead watched Deidara's face carefully.

"I don't know," the blonde shrugged casually. "I have so many of them, un. It's quite a waste if I don't wear them, right?"

"I guess."

"Why the sudden question, Danna?"

"Nothing. Just curious," Sasori narrowed his eyes at him. "You despise long sleeved shirts, don't you? Your nonsense about feeling restricted and everything."

Deidara stared. Blatantly. "I didn't expect you to remember all the rubbish I say, un." He had, in fact said that before. "You looked like you weren't even listening, un."

"Is that what you think of me?" Sasori cracked a small smile. "Someone who doesn't care about what his friend is talking about, no matter how nonsensical or important?"

"Danna, no one can tell if you're listening or not. The look on your face never changes, un." Deidara raised an eyebrow as if to emphasize his point. "Right?"

"That doesn't mean I'm not listening." Sasori gave the blonde one last look before picking up his glass and walking out. "Stay out of trouble, brat."

Deidara waited until the redhead had closed himself in his room before blowing out a huge sigh. "That was close." He rolled up his sleeves and brushed his fingers to his scars lightly. "Can't let him find out, un."

He then yanked open the fridge and grabbed a can of beer.

But Sasori was leaning against the wall outside the kitchen. His forehead creased into a slight frown as he listened to the blonde shuffling around inside.

_Can't let me find out what?_

* * *

Hidan paced back and forth outside the door of his apartment. He knew that Kakuzu was inside and a part of him had unconsciously accepted that he had a disturbingly retarded fetish when he got wasted, so he couldn't bring himself to open the door and let himself inside. His mind reeled with all the possible insults that his roommate would throw at him and he cringed.

_Why me…?_

He paced another length of the empty corridor, smoothing back his already slicked silver hair.

_Why me and him…?_

He reached the end of the hallway and automatically turned around, heading back.

_I bet Kuzu's fucking pissed._

He shuffled past his apartment again and he looked up from the ground, blinking at the number on the door.

_I'm acting like a fucking pussy._

Finally, he spun on his heel and stormed back towards his apartment. He had no reason to avoid Kakuzu anyway. He was drunk, he didn't know what he would do, right? And it's obviously not something that he _wanted _to do. But Kakuzu _did _try to restrict him from drinking... and yet he had insisted.

_Oh fuck it. Who cares about what that fucker thinks? Let him think about whatever fucking thing he wants to think about._

He twisted his key in the lock and shoved the door open with more force than it was necessary, trying to show that he didn't care, but somehow he still started shaking when he caught sight of the silent, brooding figure sitting on the couch.

Cold eyes lifted to meet trembling amethyst orbs.

"Hidan."

Said man swallowed, dread pooling in his stomach. "Uh huh?"

"Let us have a little talk," Kakuzu drawled calmly.

Suspicion crept up Hidan's spine. He narrowed his eyes at the pleasantness in Kakuzu's tone of voice. "About? I swear to Jashin, you better not try anything on me or I'll—"

"Let. Us. Have. A. _Little. Talk_."

"_What do you fucking want to talk about._"

Kakuzu's faux smile vanished faster than Hidan could blink. The albino froze. He had a very bad feeling about this.

"...Oi, Kuzu..."

"About _you_, and your tolerance for _alcohol_."

…_Fuck._

* * *

Konan peered into the room, watching Pein stare at the wall, his textbook opened on the table in front of him.

"Hey, Pein?"

The orange haired man started and turned towards the door. "Oh. Konan. What's wrong?"

"Uhm, what are you doing?"

"I was mugging for tomorrow's test, but I guess I got distracted."

Konan raised an eyebrow. "What were you thinking about?"

Pein shifted in his chair and motioned for her to come closer. She looked at him suspiciously but walked in and sat on the bed.

"Do you notice the tension in the air whenever we have a gathering with the rest?" Pein paused, seeing the confusion on Konan's face.

"Tension, you say..." she frowned and tapped her forehead with her finger. "Tension. Between who?"

"Three different kinds of tensions. Among six different people."

Konan's eye twitched. "Sensei, please break it down for me."

Pein blew out a sigh. "Doesn't the atmosphere feel weird and awkward whenever we have gatherings?"

Now that she thought back to it, Konan realized that there was a weird sort of electricity crackling in the air whenever they met up. "...sort of."

"But it's not among _everyone_. Do you feel different sorts of awkwardness between three pairs of people?" Pein continued, looking at her expectantly.

_Three pairs of people?_

"I think the most obvious is Hidan and Kakuzu," Konan muttered, thinking of the previous weekend.

"That's one. What about the other two?"

"It feels a bit funny between Kisame and Itachi..." she thought of the way the blue tinted man occasionally stuttering when the Uchiha was in close proximity.

"The last?"

She had noticed a change in the frequency between the two artists as well, but it wasn't exactly awkward. It was more of a tensed, hostile feeling. "Sasori and Dei?" She frowned. "But it's like they're more of... closed. Not exactly weird and awkward."

"I agree it's weirder with those two but we'll just focus on Kakuzu and Hidan. It's probably the same kind of weird but those two are the most obvious." Pein leaned closer to Konan, who had unconsciously inched nearer to him, curiosity overwhelming her.

"What's the point of this discussion?" Konan blurted out, somewhat amused.

"_Listen._"

"Right. Okay. Go on. Continue. Hmm. Interesting. Wow."

Pein decided to ignore the blatant sarcasm and dropped his attention back to the topic. "So, what can you observe from the way Kakuzu and Hidan interact?"

"I feel like we are talking about experiment subjects. Like they're lab samples."

"_Answer_the question, Konan..."

"Hah. Well. Violent and annoyed at each other?"

"What do their arguments remind you of?" Pein hinted, almost desperately.

"...uhm. What? Uh... Chickens in a pen?"

"Bloody _hell_, Konan. God."

"_What?_Just tell me." She gave an irritated glare and bounced once on the bed, slapping her hands on the mattress in exasperation. "Stop playing detective."

"Lovers quarreling. Don't they remind you of couples arguing?"

"_How _in the world...?"

"See, they argue about idiotic things, and then Hidan throws weird girly temper tantrums and then Kakuzu just tries to stop it and avoid the whole thing. Lovers' quarrel. Right?"

Konan gave him an incredulous stare, and went back to pondering his words. "I guess I _can _see the similarities..."

"So I'm guessing, they like each other."

Konan choked on her breath. "_Uh_?"

"I'm serious. Stop it." Pein leaned back in his chair and it creaked a little under his weight. "They just need to confess to each other."

"_Well_," Konan said, "if that's the case, fine. What about Kisame and Itachi?"

"I think I can safely say that Kisame's got it bad for the Uchiha."

"And Itachi?"

"He probably doesn't know, he's a total idiot when it comes to love. But I can tell he cares for Kisame. Maybe even more than he should," Pein added with a grin.

"Okay," Konan said slowly. "And now that we've figured it out, what do we do?"

There was a stretch of silence.

"Hey Konan?" Pein finally said.

"Uh huh?"

"What do you say we play matchmakers?"

"Pein. Seriously."

"As I'll ever be."

She inhaled deeply, and Pein raised an eyebrow.

"_Brilliant idea_!"

"I know."

They sat facing each other, grinning, until Konan stopped and remembered something.

"What about Sasori? And Dei?"

"Them?" Pein frowned. "I can't figure them out. They're too weird and unnatural. Maybe I was mistaken. They don't seem to show much affection."

"I think they're perfect for each other."

"...I think we should give our lives priority and not interfere with them. They're dangerous, you know?"

"Hmm. True, true."

"Now, our plan..."

* * *

"So, you'll go for the checkup this coming Sunday, Kisame?"

Kisame narrowed his already small eyes at the Uchiha, trying his best not to shiver under the cold crimson gaze. "But I'm really _not_ going crazy…" the blue tinted man wanted to crawl into a hole and die in it. _How did things turn out this way? This is ridiculous. The person I like thinks I'm crazy._

"I want confirmation."

"…Can't you _see_ that I'm perfectly fine—"

"So, you _will_ go, Kisame?" Itachi's face was an inch from his and Kisame almost died right there on the spot. He could feel the Uchiha's cool breath on his face, and he gulped.

"I'll… go. I'll go. Ack."

"Good." Itachi slipped a piece of paper into his hand and turned to walk away. "I've written down the department details and your time of appointment, so you have no excuse to say you got lost on the way or you can't remember what time you should turn up."

Kisame wanted to tear the slip into pieces. "…yeah. Okay. I got it."

"By the way, Pein just called."

Kisame glanced up. "Why'd he call?"

"He wants us to be at his apartment because he has things to say to us."

"Who else will be there?"

Itachi raised an eyebrow. "Everyone."

"I see."

* * *

Deidara was lazing on the couch watching dramas on the television. He held a lump of clay in his hand, idly moulding it and then rolling it back into a shapeless lump before moulding it into something else.

Sasori shoved a foil tray of prepackaged lasagna into the microwave and walked out, noticing him. _He's been watching dramas the whole week since that time I asked him about his long sleeves. Is he going to spend the weekend at home festering as well?_ The redhead sighed and dropped himself onto the couch next to him, grabbed the remote control and switched the set off.

The blonde blinked in surprise. "Danna?"

"You're decomposing in here. I sense signs of depression." Sasori eyed him hard. "What's wrong with you?"

"Me? N… nothing, un."

"You were happier last week. What happened?"

"I'm happy every _day_, Danna. What's up with _you_?" Deidara forced out a laugh, and smacked the lump of clay into Sasori's hair.

The redhead froze. "Brat."

"Un?"

"I. _Just_. Showered."

"Uh… I'm… sorry, un?" the blonde swallowed. "Danna?"

"You are going to take that muck out of my hair. _Now_."

"Y…yeah. Of course. Right away, un."

"And you're going to tell me why you've been acting like a lovesick schoolgirl."

"_WHO'S A LOVESICK SCHOOLGIRL, UN, DANNA!?"_

"…chill." Sasori raised his eyebrows. "Anyway, Pein called. We're going over to his place later. He says it's important. Everyone will be there."

"I don't actually give a fuck about that right now, un. Danna, what were you saying?" Deidara glowered at him, and flattened the clay over more of Sasori's hair.

"_GET that crap OUT of my hair_."

"_TELL me more about who that lovesick schoolgirl is, un_!"

"_GET. IT. OUT, BRAT."_

They sat glaring at each other until the microwave started to beep.

* * *

Hidan and Kakuzu sat on the couch glaring at each other.

"I have _high_ alcohol tolerance, Kuzu," Hidan said for the millionth time.

Kakuzu gritted his teeth. "Fuck no. I can't even count the number of times you got drunk using your _hair_."

"Shut the fuck up. Who cares, anyway?"

"_I _do. I have to deal with all the fucking crap you give me when you get wasted. I have no fucking intention to deal with it anymore. So we need to _stop_ you getting drunk." Kakuzu gave Hidan a look that dared him to counter him.

"And what do you suggest?" Hidan growled.

"One a day."

"One _what_ a day?"

"One can of beer a day. One shot of alcohol a day."

"_Fuck_ no, Kuzu."

"I say fuck _yes_."

"But _I _say fuck _no_."

"Yeah. But _I _say fuck _yes_, and—"

The phone rang. Hidan gave an annoyed grunt and grabbed the receiver, stretching the telephone cord all the way to where he was sitting. The telephone slid over to the edge of the table and teetered.

"What?" he said. Kakuzu watched him, irritated. "…huh. Is it? Fine, yeah… I said _okay_, what the fuck are you going on about now? Yeah, yeah. Yeah." He slammed the phone back and turned to Kakuzu.

"Who was that?"

"Konan. Says we're to go to their apartment because they have important crap to tell us."

"Now?"

"Yeah. Now. If not, when? Oh, like ten fucking years later, right?"

"Shut it. Let's go."

* * *

All pairs of eyes were on Pein and Konan.

"What's up?" Kisame asked cautiously.

"Why didn't you guys call Zetsu or that idiot Tobi, un?" Deidara narrowed his eyes at Pein, who smiled back in response.

"So, are you guys going to fucking spit it out or can we fucking scram already?"

"Chill, Hidan. We're getting there," Konan offered him a grin, stunning the albino.

"I have a fucking bad feeling about this, you know…"

Sasori sat beside the blonde with his hands clasped below his jaw, his eyes carefully observing Deidara. _Something is not right with him_…

"…just confess!" Konan ended happily.

Sasori looked up, the word catching his attention. He had just missed the entire conversation, and apparently it had been the highlight of the meeting because everyone's face had suddenly switched into something resembling doomsday. He flicked his eyes towards the blonde, but he was only surprised.

Hidan and Kakuzu however, had looks resembling horror and disgust and disbelief and embarrassment merged together on their faces.

Kisame's blue had morphed into pink and the Uchiha just looked confused.

"No. Fucking. _Way_." Hidan stood up and jabbed an accusing finger at Kakuzu, who seemed frozen in his chair. "Me? And _him_? You've _got_ to be fucking kidding me."

"From the way we see it, you're just shy," Konan chirped, completely unaffected by Hidan's choice of words or his current expression. "You don't have to be. Aww, that's so adorable. I swear."

Sasori's eyebrow shot up. _What's going on_?

"Confess? Confess _what_?" Kakuzu said, teeth gritted, and obviously trying to maintain his self control to save what little dignity he had left after Pein and Konan's great speech.

"What, you ask," Konan's eyes widened in disbelief and she rolled them. "Confess your love, of course."

"And may I ask, _what _love?" Kakuzu growled out.

"Your _undying _love for Hidan, and Hidan's _eternal _affection for you," Konan grinned.

The room fell into a kind of uncomfortable silence. Sasori could feel the horror radiating from Hidan and Kakuzu, and the embarrassment creeping out of Kisame, complete with the euphoria of Pein and Konan, and the confusion from Deidara and Itachi. Himself? He didn't even know why they were all getting so worked up over such a trivial thing.

"Konan." The redhead noticed Deidara turn towards him when he spoke. "Why, why _exactly _have you called us here today?"

"Yeah, un. This is getting kind of weird."

The blue haired optimist directed the full force of her smile upon all the stone faced people in the room. "Come _on_, guys! This is actually really exciting, right? You two," she whirled around to face Hidan and Kakuzu. "Cut it out already. You're besotted with each other. Just come on out and admit it already! You guys can live happily ever after then."

"And what do you gain from this, if it does happen?"

All eyes settled on the Uchiha. He was watching the room quietly.

"Gain?" Pein said. "Gain what?"

Konan stood up, almost glaring. "There is nothing to _gain_ from this. Not for us. But for _you_," she stared pointedly at Hidan and Kakuzu, "there is _much _to… _gain_. Now," she paused for effect, "are you going to accept our help, and accept your _own feelings_?"

Nobody spoke. Sasori glanced over to see Deidara looking at Hidan and Kakuzu.

Hidan stood up first. "I'm not taking anymore of this fucking shit. I'm going home." Then he grabbed his keys and left Kakuzu sitting on the two seater couch by himself.

Pein smirked at Kakuzu. "Hey buddy."

Kakuzu looked over grimy. "_What_?"

"Are you going to chase after him or what? Knowing Hidan, he'll probably get very drunk and maybe follow someone home thinking it's you."

It took a few seconds for Kakuzu to uncover Pein's hidden message, then he gave a groan and stood up. "Shit. That fucker better not... do any… anything weird… like…" he froze. "Like… Urgh."

After he left, Konan turned to Kisame, who gulped.

"Uh, Konan? I think I've got a project to do. I'm going back now."

Itachi raised an eyebrow. "What project?"

"Um, you know, a report on the different habitats and characteristics of aquatic mammals... That one." Kisame looked hard at the Uchiha, hoping that he would catch on, nod and happily offer to drive him back. From what he'd observed Konan and Pein do to Hidan and Kakuzu, he could safely conclude that this was a matchmaking session. And he didn't want Itachi to find out. Not yet.

Unfortunately, Itachi gave him a confused half smile. "You mean the one you were doing last week and handed up on Friday?"

Pein grinned. "You're not escaping, Kisame. Konan," he turned to her and winked. "Do what you do best."

His girlfriend tossed her blue hair back. "You can count on me."

"Like one, two, three, baby."

"You bet."

Sasori blew out a sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Brat, I think we should leave them so they can discuss their business in private."

"Yeah, un." Deidara shot Pein and Konan a skeptical look and ran his hand through his hair, dragging his long bangs down and arranging it in front of his left eye. "Why did you guys even include us in this meeting? It doesn't even have anything to do with us, un."

Konan placed her hand under her chin, as if contemplating if she should let them leave. Then she scooted her attention back to Itachi and Kisame. "All right. You two can go back first. We'll settle your problem some other time."

"We have _problems_, un?"

"I do not think so. Brat, let's just go."

"What problems—"

"_Now_, brat."

There was a flash of red and yellow, a stunned yelp and the slamming of doors. Then there were only four people left in the room.

"Now, you..." Konan mused.

Kisame started to tremble.

* * *

**A/N: I thought I've been making it a little depressing, especially the previous chapter, so i put a bit more humor into it. Are the characters becoming OOC? ): I really hate it when that happens. Please tell me. I mean, I can't make them completely in character since this is AU, but i don't like it when they stray until they become those kind of idiot, air headed people, if you get what i mean. Anyway, please review! And I love all you SasoDei shippers too :D Let's be friends! Let's be best friends! :D We are a rare species :D  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys, I'm so sorry, has it been half a year? IM SO SORRY. I was busy and all and... I had no inspiration. FORGIVE ME. But I'm back now, so (: Thanks Envyyyy, MitchiMarra, HerpyDerpy, Akatsuki Fatale and XDaraku-Shita-TenshiX for reviewing! :D**

* * *

Kakuzu tore down the dark street, his eyes searching the night for the crazy troublemaker. _Where the fuck did Hidan go?_ Kakuzu hoped the silver haired man hadn't found his seat in a bar and was chugging down alcohol by the bottles now, because that would be a _lot_ of trouble indeed.

The thought of Hidan following someone else home mistaking them for himself made Kakuzu disastrously mad. But he didn't even know why. _Who cares if the idiot follows someone else home…?_ He groaned and clutched his head, quickening his pace. _Hidan… I'm going to fucking murder you. _

He was about to turn into an alley when he heard someone curse further up front.

It was Hidan, continuously kicking a lamp post and chanting his daily menu of vulgarities like a mantra.

Kakuzu narrowed his eyes.

"Where the _fuck_ do you think you're going!"

Hidan started and whirled around, horrified, as Kakuzu stalked towards him.

_Fuck._

He back stepped and started to sprint. He tried to channel all his energy to his legs, willing himself to run faster, and further away from the enraged Kakuzu, who was stomping his way down the street, the occasional glow of street lamps on his face highlighting the fact that his level of anger was way over the norm.

_Bastard Kuzu. Why can't he fucking leave me alone? Stop. Following. Me._

"Hidan, if you don't stop right there, I'll—"

_Oh yeah? What are you going to do? You can't—_

"—Stop sponsoring all your shit."

The silver haired man had no choice but to stop. Even he knew that if Kakuzu stopped helping him, he would end up as a hobo on the streets.

_I sound like I'm only friends with Kuzu for his money. I feel like such a fucking leech._

Kakuzu's footsteps drew nearer, and softened to stop. Hidan could actually feel himself trembling. The echo of his heart beating thundered through his body, filling his head and ricocheting around his seemingly hollowing skull.

_I'm turning into a fucking sissy. _

"What were you running from?"

Lavender eyes widened. "R...running? What— I'm not running... from anything." It was getting hard to breathe. But he _was_ running. Because of Kakuzu. No... Not Kakuzu, but _what_ Kakuzu made him feel.

And he didn't like the invoked feelings at all. It made his chest tight and pulse race, it made his thoughts jumble and his knees weak. But worst of all, it made him think of how he would feel if he someday lost Kakuzu. And he didn't like that thought either.

"Liar." Kakuzu took another step closer to him and lowered his tone. "You think you're such an expert at that but I'm not falling for it."

Oh, and also, Hidan couldn't stand Kakuzu's voice— it was sometimes too soft, too gentle, and it made him want to give up and surrender— but the silver haired man hated to lose.

Clenching of fists and a sharp intake of breath. Hidan turned around, no longer sure if he was angry, scared, or if he only wanted to deny whatever Kakuzu made him feel. _Making_ him feel.

Startled by the sudden movement, Kakuzu blinked once, twice.

"Screw you, Kuzu. What is your damned problem? Why can't you just leave me _alone _when I need to be alone? I can't fucking _think _when you're standing less then one fucking foot away from me. I don't know _why_ but I _can't_! My head feels messed up and then I can't even fucking _breathe_ properly without feeling as if my chest would _explode_, and you fucking know what else? I can't _stand_ normally, for fuck's sake! My knees are like _jelly_! And I know I have enough calcium so! Stop messing with my brain!"

Kakuzu stared at the rambling man in front of him. His violet eyes were flashing in a swirl of mixed emotions. Irritation. Anger. Desperation. Anxiety. _Fear_.

"That's because you're in love with me."

Hidan balked visibly. "What the f—"

"You're in love with me," Kakuzu repeated, with a hint of disbelief, with amazement even, and Hidan could detect it.

"Don't go jumping to conclusions, you fucking retard. Why the hell would I be in love with you? Fuck, stop it. Just stop whatever it is you're doing to me, because I'm not used to feeling so screwed up about myself every _second_ of every minute of every hour of every fucking _day_." He was exasperated, and Kakuzu's expression didn't show any signs of change. If any, the amazement intensified, and Hidan felt as if he would collapse any time if his knees trembled any more. "What the fuck are you staring at, Kuzu? Will you fucking cut that out—"

Kakuzu grabbed him by the front of his shirt and cut his sentence off, pressing their lips together.

Stunned, Hidan stared into Kakuzu's open eyes, his heartbeat hammering into maximum, and if not for Kakuzu's arm around him, he was hundred percent sure that he would have crashed to the ground. _What the fuck is going on?_

Hidan watched Kakuzu, their faces not an inch apart, until the latter leaned back, but not loosening his hold around Hidan's waist. "Wh...what did you do that for?" He choked out, mortified.

"Promise me that you'll never get drunk unless you're with me."

"What the... I thought I was only allowed one can of beer and one shot of alcohol a day? How the fuck am I supposed to get drunk with that? And why the hell can't I get drunk with anyone else?"

"I don't want you biting anyone else, or sucking their fucking blood."

"And this concerns you _why_?"

"Because your mouth can _only_ touch me."

A scarlet blush flared upwards from Hidan's neck to his cheeks. "Bastard, you're—"

"—in love with you."

Hidan clenched his fists and scuffed his sneakers on the ground. "You could... at least, you know, close your eyes."

"When I kiss you? Why? When else will I see you shut up?" Kakuzu let go of Hidan, and the purple eyed man stumbled two steps before regaining balance and glaring at him.

"You know what, Kuzu? Fuck you."

Kakuzu grinned slightly. "Ah, sure. When we get home. Impatient, aren't you?"

"..._Fuck_ you."

"Of course, it'd be the other way around."

"ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, KUZU."

* * *

It was quiet as they walked back to their apartment. Deidara kept his head tilted up towards the faint glow of the moon and soft light of the streetlamps. With his hands shoved into the pocket of his jeans, the blonde stole a quick glance at Sasori, to find the redhead already watching him with his unreadable eyes.

Startled, Deidara looked away and continued walking, the one second of eye contact causing his heart to race. _Could I get any more obvious, un?_

"I can't shake off the feeling that something is wrong."

The blonde held his breath. "What?"

"I'm not forcing you to tell me, but I'm serious. If you have problems, you should talk to me." Sasori's voice was low, and Deidara could detect the slightest rare bit of concern lingering in his words.

"I…"

The redhead looked up, almost expectantly.

"I know, un."

"…Good."

Silence.

"Danna?"

"Hmm?"

"I realized that you're actually kind of nice, un."

"Did it take you that long to realize that, brat?"

"…I change my mind."

* * *

When they finally escaped from Konan and Pein's apartment, Kisame was half dead. He felt dehydrated from all the loss of water through cold sweat, and half fried from the intensity of Konan's ceaseless interrogation. _How the hell does Itachi keep his cool?_

He stole a sideways glance at the stoic figure walking beside him. He didn't even seem the slightest bit bothered about all the questions the crazy couple were throwing at them. Right, because the questions weren't even aimed at Uchiha fucking Itachi, they were all pelted at Kisame. And he almost drowned in them.

_Pein and Konan are too observant for their own good. They could have aimed their focus on something else, like their studies, maybe. They should just leave me alone._

Kisame let out a loud sigh, forgetting himself.

"Are you all right, Kisame?"

The blue tinged man jumped nearly three feet into the air, somehow managing to make his already red face turn even redder. "I'm fine! I'm fantastic! I'm magnificent!"

"If you insist…" Itachi stared at Kisame. He was not very convinced.

* * *

Sasori and Itachi sat across each other in the café. The sky outside had dimmed significantly from the bright it had been when Sasori entered, but yet the Uchiha had not uttered even a single word. The redhead blinked his tired eyes, and stopped tapping his fingertips on the tabletop.

"I believe that the reason we are here in the first place is because you said that you needed to talk?" Sasori's attempt at being obvious instantly failed as he said what he really wanted to say.

Itachi gave a slight frown. "I know."

"So, what is it?" The redhead liked to think that he had been very understanding, but for an impatient person, Itachi had really pushed his limits.

"It's about Kisame."

Sasori raised an eyebrow. _Kisame? What about him?_ "And...?" he prompted.

"I am convinced that he is facing some problems, but he doesn't seem to have any intention of talking about it. He has even started to avoid me."

..._what?_

"He leaves home earlier than me," the Uchiha frowned, "and returns to the apartment past midnight. When I ask him about his whereabouts, he completely and utterly _ignores_ me."

"You seem irritated," Sasori blinked at the increasing volume of Itachi's ramble. _What am I supposed to do about that? _

Sasori had his own problems too after all. Deidara used to go out every weekend, but he had recently started staying home and the redhead more often than not found him staring blankly at something while absentmindedly messing with his clay, or in the bathroom taking a shower. The redhead's eye twitched. _The water bills have become ridiculously high these few months..._

"Of course I'm disturbed," Itachi growled. "Does Kisame not think of me as a worthy enough friend to share his problems with?"

"I'm sure he has his reasons..."

"And he doesn't even go for the hospital appointments I make for him," the Uchiha continued. "He—"

"I think," Sasori interrupted, "that you're being a little too overprotective about this. Kisame's not a little kid, he can take care of himself. Why are you so hung up over him not wanting to report in to you his daily life?"

Itachi blinked, startled. "_Report_ to me his daily life?" he repeated. "I'm showing _concern_."

Sasori almost choked on his coffee. _Concern_? _Uchiha Itachi_? The redhead stared, half shocked at the man opposite him. "Of course..."

"I have already observed his changing behavior from a few weeks back. It was strange enough. There was once I found his talking to himself outside the door for a whole fifteen minutes. That was when I made the first appointment for him but he didn't go for it. I thought that was troublesome enough, but ever since that get together at Pein and Konan's apartment, he's become worse. He jumps at the slightest sound and he refuses to make eye contact with me. What I don't understand is why." Itachi clasped his hands together on the table, tapping the base of his coffee cup with his pinky.

"All right…"

As both psychological students attempted a stare down, on the other side of the cafe, one blonde and one blue tinted man were locked up in a heated discussion. A heated one-sided blabber.

"So..." Deidara rested his chin on his palm, his other hand slowly stirring his mocha, "basically, you have this huge, life threatening crush on Uchiha Itachi, and you're dying?"

Kisame's pale face immediately heated up into a raging red. "Wh...wha..." he spluttered. "I n-never—"

"Save it, un." Deidara propped both elbows on the table and leaned closer to the blubbering man, making air quotes with his fingers. "Let's see, hmm. 'I can't breathe when he's around', 'his eyes are electrifying, they freak me out', 'his voice is way too sexy it should be forbidden', wow." The blonde's smirk practically dripped sarcasm. "You're smitten, buddy. You're head over heels, un." _Just like me. I know how you feel._

"I AM _NOT_—"

"Will you shut up, un! We're in a fucking cafe here!"

"—in love with that prick," Kisame hissed.

"Who said you were in love? I only said you had a crush on him, un. You mean the feeling goes deeper?"

"Good God, Deidara."

"Uh huh."

Deidara leaned back in his seat and sighed. He had spent three hours listening to the big guy talk about his endless affection for the Uchiha, and he had to admit, Kisame had it bad. _Very_ bad.

_If I think that Kisame's got it bad, what am I? _

He self consciously tugged his sleeves lower to cover his wrist. He didn't want anyone to find out. Not now. Not ever. He never, ever, wanted Sasori to know.

_What is it called, to fall in love with your best friend but not being able to tell them how you feel for fear of losing their friendship?_

Deidara had always thought that those people who didn't dare to confess were idiots. Why not? Just go up to them and tell them "I love you", and let fate decide the rest. But he realized, now being in the same situation, that it sounded a million and one times easier than it seemed. Years and years of friendship, shattered because of the three words that were supposed to be beautiful. Was it worth it? Was it worth it, really?

"Stop judging me! You don't know how I feel!" Kisame wailed.

Deidara felt his fists clench and his jaw harden. _I don't know?_ "How would _you_ know how _I_ feel, un?"

Kisame's stunned face signaled to the blonde that something was amiss, and he realized, with slight horror, that in his anger, he had stood up and slammed his hands on the tabletop. Now everyone in the cafe had turned to look at him.

"Are you... okay?" Kisame stared at him, taken aback by Deidara's almost violent reaction.

"I... I'm fine. I think I'm tired, un. I... See you tomorrow, yeah?" The blonde grabbed his phone and left.

Itachi had heard the banging of tables and turned around, effectively breaking up the stare down. "What was that?"

Sasori followed Itachi's gaze. Deidara stood opposite a shell shocked Kisame, fists on the table and posture rigid.

"Is that Deidara?" Itachi coughed, "and _Kisame_?"

"Deidara?" Sasori frowned. _What is the brat doing?_ The redhead stood up, and started to walk towards their table, but the blonde turned around and disappeared out the cafe door before he could take another step. "Itachi, I'm just going to..." Sasori trailed off. The Uchiha was already on his way towards the unsuspecting Kisame. That bastard... Never mind, that works for me as well.

He pushed the glass door opened and ran down the street, leaving the chime to tinkle as the door slowly closed.

* * *

Deidara crashed into the bathroom and leaned back against the wall, letting the coolness of the marble seep into his burning skin. He had almost lost it. How could he have been so careless?

"Screw this..."

There was a click as the blonde opened his Swiss army knife and positioned it over an unscathed part of his arm. He pressed it down, hard.

"I never asked for this, un."

The thin line of blood welled up from the cut, dark and thick.

A teardrop fell on the bubbling slit, mixing with the blood and running down the side of Deidara's arm like diluted paint.

"Hey, brat?"

The blonde's head snapped up. _Fuck no. HELL no. Shit._

"Deidara?"

The door to the bathroom opened.

Deidara had forgotten to lock it.

* * *

**A/N: HOW WAS IT. Have my writing skills rusted? Please review! And maybe some suggestions? But I've already written the climax of this multi chap, I'm just trying to connect it to the rest of the fic :D REVIEW PLEASE! THANKS. Cookies and lollipops for you!~**


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